Going Back To an Ended Relationship
Kollekted_Thoughts: you say you do not believe in goin back but you have done it a few times,whats makes you come back?
Patiently_Devoted: well last semester i know why we took a break & it was just personal reasons of things i was going through added with paranoia ... the first time we broke up though i think it was the best thing for us cause when you're not used to adversity in your relationship and you go through it, how we handled it i think says a lot about us as people and how we feel about each other. with [Bobby] there was never a doubt in my mind that i wanted to end up with him at the end of the day, married with kids. but i needed to kinda put things in perspective & so i'd say i came back the second time, things were kinda put in perspective with my disease and how bad i got, it was like how can i be so selfish needing time for myself to get my life together when life's so short to begin with. how could i not be with someone who loves me so much and treats me so good and just cares so much for me. i felt selfish and immature not being with him, cause i was being really self-centered. i think the best thing you can do is love someone, whole-heartedly. and people don't understand relationships are about compromise.. so until you're willing to start seeing the we instead of the me, you're not going to last. i mean people i guess fall out of love. but that's on you to keep the love live
Kollekted_Thoughts: cool
Patiently_Devoted:sry hope that answered that
Kollekted_Thoughts: I love that beautiful piece, but I think it goes against what u said in that why go back. thats a reason
Patiently_Devoted: because i think every relationship is different. i'm speaking on the people that i've seen go back, not me personally cause i htink i'm a special case; idk if that's true but among people i know i am cause most people do go back for familiarity. and i just know myself enough that, that would never be the case. as long as u show me your recent hiv/aids, std testing i'd be good to go
Kollekted_Thoughts: hmmm.. i think what u wrote about had a lot to do with familiarity tho. you knew he loved u
Patiently_Devoted: nah cause someone could treat you really bad and sometimes you really aren't supposed to be with that person
Kollekted_Thoughts: and you had to think about how good of a person you were missing out on; yes thats true
Patiently_Devoted: that's not familiarity; or atleast thats not how i meant it
Kollekted_Thoughts: but they could also be in ur situation, both are familiarity one is just negative and one is positive. i think when i write about it ill make sure to point that out
Patiently_Devoted: you're right
Kollekted_Thoughts: that there is negative and positive
Patiently_Devoted: there is.. i think i'm just used to hearing about the bad rather than the good, I think most people are. and thats why when, for instance [Bobby] and i got back together
Kollekted_Thoughts: i would hope that people would go back because of something positive they were missing
Patiently_Devoted:: people were questioning it; cause some people can't really see people having positive relationships but breaking up
Kollekted_Thoughts: but i feel sometimes people fool themselves into thinking it was positive when in actuality it was negative
Patiently_Devoted: but i think though sometimes people mistake postiivity for something else. like my friend had been with her man for like 3 years and they were seriously on an on and off type thing, like sometimes they were really good but sometimes really bad. but i honestly think it's when you're really bad, that's kinda the test of your relationship and that's what you should base it on.. like it's easy to be in love when the sex is great and your hanging out all the time and things are going great and there's not a care in the world, but let me know how he treats you when you are trying to give some constructive criticism or you're trying to express your feelings about whatevers going on with you and your life. idk i think it says a lot about people how they face adversity and what type of relationship you had but people seem to tend to only remember the good times when they consider going back in the past. but i think if people considered the whole picture, people would make better judgments
Kollekted_Thoughts: very well said I feel you on that part of it
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This is an interesting look into why someone may go back into a past relationship. It is clear that Patiently_Devoted had not moved on and couldn't see him/herself without his/her significant other and had not invested time into another relationship. In most "what if" situations its when you have moved on into a new relationship or have evolved past that initial one that things go wrong. It's in that case where it is better that someone think of that "what if" rather than act on it.
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